Please forgive me for the radio silence over the last couple of weeks; things have been pretty hectic and I’ve been mentally and physically preoccupied with so many different things – some bad but so many good! When I first sat down to write this post I was going to real off a list of excuses as to why I haven’t been able to post – and in a way I am – but I also thought I would share with you my thoughts on life and turning a year older.
The last couple of weeks truly have been super busy in and outside of work; firstly it was my birthday and then last week was the London Design Festival – one of my favourite weeks of the year, but also one of the most hectic if your a product and furniture designer like myself. There’s always just so much going on – private views, the shoreditch design triangle, trade fairs and all other kinds of events – it’s great and I easily managed to fill every evening, cramming in as much as I could. And then coinciding with this I had two freelance photography projects which filled a whole weekend and then every other bit of free time over the last week has been used for editing – don’t get me wrong I loved working on these projects, both different, but both pretty exciting! And then last weekend was the South East Makers Club, a really exciting project that B and a group of friends had been working on, it was a design trail around – you guessed it – South East London, stretching across Deptford, Brockley, New Cross & Peckham. They completely managed to pull it out of the bag, ending with a design based pub quiz hosted by Mr Tom O’Dell and the South East London Journal – it was a great weekend and once again left me very little free time for anything else.
I know the above is essentially just a list of excuses, and for me was a way of justifying why I haven’t posted; but aside from all this . . . Yes, I have just been managing my time badly and enjoying life a little too much. Writing doesn’t ever really come naturally to me; I have to lock myself in a silent room with no distractions and a wad of paper for drafting notes – I really have to be in the write mental state to be able to write, and I guess all my gallivanting has left me too knackered to sit down and focus – again more excuses I know, sorry!
But also since my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been over thinking my life and where its leading me. I truly love my design job and all the other freelance work alongside it, but I just feel like I never have time to stop! I can’t remember the last time I just came home from work, gorged myself on food and just lay on the sofa in front of the telly, for the entire evening – I always seem to have some kind of work to do, and I guess turning another year older and then some other things that have happened in the last couple of weeks have really made me think, reassessing my goals and wants from life. Essentially I’ve just been feeling a little sorry for myself – I love doing this blog, what started as a hobby has turned into a real passion of mine, and I guess because of this I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to make it as good as I can, and would love so much to be able to spend more time on it and post so much more exciting stuff! I guess I’ve just been frustrated at life in general, I’m getting older and older, but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere, and life certainly doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. I can never seem to be able to devote the amount of time I want to to this blog. And I know I’m not the only person in the world who tries to juggle too many things at once, and theres most definitely hundreds of ambitious people out there who work so much harder than me! But I do often wonder when is all this going to end, when is everything going to sit in nicely with everything else, when am I going to have my spare time back again!
In reality, probably not anytime soon, I was talking things through with Benji the other day and he shared with me his personal mental mantra for when everything gets a bit too stressful – hilariously I think it may be an Oprah Winfrey quote – ‘do what you need to do until you can do what you want to do’. And he’s right, nobody gets anything from life by just laying at the wayside waiting for things to happen to them, to get where you want to be in life you have to push yourself as hard as you can, and then push a little harder. Dreams and goals are what they are because you have to work so hard to get them. As cheesy as it sounds its the effort you put in and the sacrifices you make, that will make it all the sweeter when you finally achieve what you want from life. And so what I initially intended to be an apology post, has in fact turned into a ‘Nod’ to everyone out there who works their bloody arse off, chasing their dreams and aiming high – it’s easy to sometimes feel a bit downtrodden and unappreciated, but keep going, just because nobody else sees the effort you put in doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. Ultimately, you do what you do for yourself, if you want something then go for it, you only live once, and when you finally get there it will be all the better – and remember its ok to occasionally have mini breakdowns, take a couple of days off, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and then get back on it.
Sorry for the rambling monologue, but I honestly felt I needed to share my thoughts, and I hope this may make one or two of you feel a little better, knowing that your not the only one who feels like their fighting a constant battle to keep on top of life. I guess it just often feels to me that we all project this really happy, carefree, positive perception of ourselves to world, be it through social media or just to our friends, and often nobody really talks about the less glamorous things in life, but keep doing what your doing – it’ll be worth it.
As always thank you for reading and I hope your all having a great week? Also, in terms of blog posts – I promise I’ll up my game in the coming weeks!